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  ‘I think it was just before I turned one,’ Victoria said with a shrug. ‘She didn’t even last a year.’ And then Victoria pocketed her phone and she looked right at him. ‘So you can see why I don’t want you flitting in and out of my child’s life.’ Then she thought about it. ‘Not that my mother did. When she decided to leave she left for good.’

  ‘You don’t see her at all?’

  ‘No,’ Victoria said. ‘I found her on social media a couple of years ago. She’s got two grown-up sons. I guess they’re my half-brothers.’

  ‘Did you make contact?’

  ‘I tried to—they all blocked me.’

  ‘Well, I shan’t be doing the same.’

  ‘Not straight away, but you might change your mind and decide to go and live in Scotland, once you’ve sorted things with your family...’

  ‘Victoria, do you remember when I told you about Lorna and you pointed out that I wasn’t your ex?’

  She nodded.

  ‘Well, it works both ways—I’m not one of your parents either. I shan’t be turning my back on the baby. I shall always be there for my child.’

  Victoria already knew that.

  Deep down, she always had.

  After Dominic’s initial poor reaction on the night she had told him, he had run after her and had been trying to get more involved rather than less.

  It wasn’t the baby she was now trying to protect.

  It was herself.

  He would be agony to lose and her heart could not take further hurt.

  ‘What about Lorna?’ Victoria said, and she silently kicked below the belt. ‘Did you say that you’d always be there for her too?’

  He didn’t baulk at her question; Dominic stared her right in the eyes. ‘No.’

  ‘I don’t believe you.’

  ‘Well, you should, because half Lorna’s and my problem was that I’m not very effusive.’

  ‘Did you say you’d always be there for your brother?’ Victoria asked, and that kick delivered because this time he flinched.

  Not much.

  She just saw the slight tightening of his lips and then he righted himself.

  ‘I thought as much.’ She shook her head. ‘Thanks but no thanks, Dominic. I really do want to do this on my own.’

  Dominic looked at Victoria. He was not going to force himself on someone who clearly didn’t want him too close in her life.

  ‘Victoria,’ Dominic said, ‘I will stay back, if that is what helps you. But with one proviso.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘If you change your mind, you’re to tell me.’

  ‘I shan’t be changing my mind,’ Victoria said, and then she saw that Glen was making his way towards them. ‘I’ll see you around.’

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  SEE YOU AROUND!

  Dominic had watched her walk out and had resisted yanking her back, but really—see you around!

  Of course he could not force her to accept his presence at the appointment, nor could he demand anything from her.

  He had loathed her working on the ambulance whilst pregnant but at least it had meant that they saw each other regularly.

  Now it would just be Save Paddington’s meetings and they were always busy. Though there were get-togethers afterwards, there would be no real chance for the two of them to speak.

  He could hardly go around to her flat, given how it had ended the last time.

  Yet, he could not regret what had taken place.

  That night, it had not been just the sex that had soothed. It had been the conversation and just a glimpse of peace on a tumultuous day.

  And a glimpse of another side to Victoria.

  He was waiting for the transfer from Riverside to arrive but that could well be hours away. Still, rather than head off and get some rest, he hung around in case Victoria came back in, knowing that it might be their last chance to speak.

  The nurses were stretched thin.

  Karen was working in the resuscitation area and watching Penny while also trying to take some observations on a wriggling two-year-old. When the buzzer went over Penny’s bay, Dominic stood to answer it and Karen gave a nod of thanks to him.

  ‘Hello.’

  He smiled down to Penny.

  ‘You’re not a nurse,’ Penny said. She was looking a bit better and could speak in short sentences, but even that seemed to deplete her.

  ‘No,’ he said. ‘I’m not, but Karen is just giving a baby some medicine and doing its obs. Can I help you with anything?’

  ‘I want some ice.’

  ‘I think I can manage that.’

  He went and filled a cup from the dispenser and then began feeding Penny a spoon of ice chips.

  ‘Mum’s speaking to the doctor,’ Penny said.

  ‘She shouldn’t be too long,’ Dominic reassured. ‘How are you feeling now?’

  ‘Better.’

  ‘That’s good.’

  She was a little anxious and he guessed that tonight she must have had a fright, so he did not place the cup down but instead let her get her breath for a moment and waited until she spoke again.

  ‘A princess lives in the tower,’ Penny said, pointing to the roof. ‘Victoria told me.’

  ‘That’s good to know.’ He smiled because it would seem that even if Victoria didn’t believe in fairytales she knew how to tell them. There were so many sides to Victoria.

  And he wanted to know them all.

  ‘A beautiful princess,’ Penny added, and he waited for her to take a couple of breaths before she continued. ‘She watches over all the children.’

  ‘What about the handsome prince?’ Dominic asked.

  ‘Victoria didn’t mention him.’

  Of course she didn’t! Dominic thought as he smiled.

  He fed her a few more chips of ice. He guessed that, more than ice, Penny wanted some company and so he chatted about magic and fairies and wishes that came true and, because of his accent, she asked about the Loch Ness monster and if he believed it.

  ‘Who, Nessie?’ He made it sound as if the monster was a close friend. ‘My brother and I saw her one holiday many years ago.’ And because he was so serious it made it more believable somehow, so Penny lay there and smiled and told him one of her wishes.

  ‘I wish I could have ballet lessons.’

  ‘Well, I’m sure the princess is working on that as we speak,’ Dominic said, and then turned as Julia came in.

  ‘Oh, thank you, Doctor,’ she said.

  ‘No problem.’

  ‘What did the doctor say?’ Penny asked her mother.

  ‘That they’re going to keep you here for a few days. It’s her second home...’ Julia added to Dominic, taking the cup of ice chips and smiling as she did so.

  He could see that Julia had put on some make-up and was doing everything in her power to hide her own terrified heart.

  Children often amazed him, Dominic thought, but then adults did too.

  Julia had just been delivered terrible news about Penny, Dominic knew.

  This wasn’t going to be just a couple of nights’ stay.

  He had heard Thomas speaking with Karen and the news wasn’t good.

  A viral infection was ravaging Penny’s already damaged heart and had pushed her into a dangerous level of heart failure.

  ‘Where’s Dad?’ Penny asked her mum.

  ‘He’s moving the car or he’ll get clamped again!’ Julia said, and then she turned it into a funny story, reminding Penny how Dad’s car had got clamped a couple of times.

  And either the guy was out there weeping, Dominic thought, or he really was trying to sort out a car that had been haphazardly parked in the race to get to his desperately sick chi
ld.

  Julia chatted and fussed, and then in came Peter smiling and waving at Penny; he came over and gave his little girl a kiss.

  And Dominic watched.

  You wouldn’t know that they were in agony.

  Unless you knew.

  And suddenly Dominic did.

  Victoria was hurting.

  Of course she was.

  And probably she hurt a bit more with each and every passing day.

  He thought of Glen, idly chatting, saying how you would do anything for your children.

  And the firefighters who had run into a building to save children that weren’t even theirs.

  Every single day it must be rammed home to her just what her mother had done.

  * * *

  Victoria was hurting.

  She and Glen sat in the vehicle and Victoria got out her flask so they could have a coffee as the sun was coming up over London.

  ‘I’m going to miss this,’ Victoria said.

  ‘You’ll be back.’ Glen smiled.

  ‘I shall be,’ Victoria agreed. ‘But even though I’ll miss not being on the road, I am ready to give it away for a while.’

  Since she had found out that she was going to be a mother, she knew it wasn’t just her life she was risking at times.

  It wasn’t the heavy lifting, more the unpredictability of some patients, which meant that once she told work that she was pregnant, Victoria would probably be moved into dispatch.

  Glen had looked out for her these couple of weeks and it was time now for her to look out for him.

  Of course she wasn’t going to politely ignore his tears; it had just been something she’d said to Dominic.

  They looked out for each other and she didn’t want to leave without knowing he was taking care of himself.

  ‘Glen,’ Victoria said, ‘did you see about speaking to someone?’

  He nodded. ‘I’ve got an appointment in the morning. That’s why I didn’t offer to take you to the ultrasound.’

  ‘Have you told Hayley?’

  ‘Yep,’ he said. ‘She’s relieved,’ Glen told her. ‘It’s our anniversary now and she said it’s the best present I could give her.’

  ‘You’ve got that nice wine too,’ Victoria reminded him.

  ‘And a ring.’

  ‘How do you make it work?’ Victoria asked him again, and this time the radio didn’t go off so he thought for a moment and then answered.

  ‘You stop being too proud for your own good.’

  She guessed he was referring to a recent conversation with Hayley, and that he had finally heeded the advice and was getting himself some help.

  ‘So we’re both getting ourselves sorted after this shift,’ Victoria said.

  ‘Starting to,’ Glen corrected. ‘Let him be there for the ultrasound, Victoria. Whatever happens between the two of you, whether you’re a couple or not, you can parent together, surely?’

  Could they? Victoria pondered.

  Who was she to deny her child a wonderful parent?

  It would have made all the difference to her.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  THE TRANSFER FINALLY arrived and required surgery.

  Dominic liked the quiet of theatre.

  Some surgeons chatted or listened to music; Dominic liked quiet so he could concentrate, especially when he had been on call all weekend.

  By seven in the morning his latest patient was settled on the ward. After he had done a ward round and checked on all his other patients and handed them over, Dominic was tired enough to want to go home.

  But instead Dominic showered and then hung around.

  He knew that Victoria’s ultrasound was at ten.

  But he wasn’t just there for that reason; there was another thing that he needed to do.

  Victoria was right to be cautious about getting involved with him.

  She didn’t need a man who came with baggage. He had been determined to get things sorted with his family before he approached Victoria. But then the baby had been sprung upon him and things had gone wayward for a while.

  Dominic knew that the problems within his family needed to be dealt with, but more importantly, he finally felt ready.

  He went to his locker and then Dominic walked through the hospital and made his way to the cardiac unit.

  Some days were hard, when you were least expecting them to be.

  Other days were unexpectedly not.

  He walked onto the cardiac unit and there was Penny, hooked up to monitors and IVs but looking peaceful. She smiled and gave him a little wave.

  Dominic waved back and then he went up to the nurses’ station where Thomas stood.

  ‘Morning,’ he said.

  ‘Good morning.’ Thomas nodded.

  Dominic was waiting for a nurse so he could explain that he was just here to visit, but for the moment they were all tied up so he stood at the desk.

  Thomas didn’t exactly invite conversation and he was back to busily writing up some notes.

  ‘Hi, Rebecca,’ Dominic said as she approached.

  ‘Dr Scott,’ Thomas greeted, and Dominic frowned at the rather formal address of her.

  ‘Dr Wolfe,’ Rebecca said, and her voice sounded strained but she pushed out her lovely smile for Dominic. ‘What are you doing on the cardiac unit?’ she asked him.

  ‘My nephew’s a patient here—William MacBride.’

  ‘Oh,’ Rebecca said in surprise. ‘I thought the name was familiar. I’m actually here to see him.’

  ‘I’ll come back later, then,’ Dominic offered. He didn’t understand the tension between these two but he didn’t want to make things worse. But then Rebecca declined his offer to leave.

  ‘No, no, I need to speak with Dr Wolfe first and I have another couple of patients to see. Go ahead.’

  A nurse came over then—it was Rosie—and Dominic explained why he was here and she waved him on.

  Really, he could have just popped in, but he had wanted the separation, for this was not a doctor visiting.

  It was a brother, a brother-in-law and an uncle that had come to visit this morning.

  He looked through the glass as he approached and saw the little family.

  Lorna was holding William, who was attached to monitors, but he looked rested and pink in his mother’s arms.

  And there was Jamie hovering over them.

  Dominic could have waited until his parents arrived to drop in on them, but he had never needed the shield of his parents. He had just needed the ability to look his brother and Lorna in the eye.

  Without hurt or malice.

  ‘Hey.’

  He knocked on the open door and Lorna looked up and he could see that she was startled.

  Jamie stood up a touch straighter and was clearly nervous at Dominic’s unexpected arrival.

  ‘How is he doing?’ Dominic asked.

  ‘Better,’ Jamie said. ‘They’ve got him on something called beta...’ He struggled with all the new terminology.

  ‘Beta-blockers.’ Dominic nodded. ‘They slow the heart down and steady things.’

  ‘I think I might need some,’ Lorna said, and let out a nervous laugh as she made a feeble joke.

  Oh, it seemed such a long time ago since they had been together and so much had happened since then.

  ‘Well, you’ve had a very difficult time with William.’

  Dominic chose his words carefully, refusing to allude to the situation between the three of them.

  It was over with.

  He gave her a smile and saw that she relaxed.

  ‘I got this for William,’ Dominic said, and handed over the wrapped present to Lorna.

  She opened it wh
ile holding William, and with all his drips and things it took a while, but when Lorna saw what it was she smiled. It was a little Scottie dog, wearing a tartan bow.

  ‘He’s gorgeous,’ she said. ‘We didn’t think to bring any toys with us. It will be nice to have something for his cot here.’

  ‘Here,’ Dominic said, and handed Jamie the card. Knowing how useless Jamie was with money Dominic had put in a generous cheque. It wasn’t for the baby though. ‘I thought you could get something for the nursery or a pusher or whatever.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  But it was the words on the card that mattered the most to Jamie and he read them again.

  Dear Lorna and Jamie,

  Congratulations on the birth of William.

  I am thrilled to be an uncle and looking forward to watching him grow up. I know you’ll be amazing parents.

  Love, Dominic

  And Jamie knew that his brother always meant every word.

  ‘Do you want a hold of him?’ Jamie asked, and his voice was a bit choked. ‘Or maybe...’ He hesitated, worried that it might be too much for his brother, but Dominic had meant every word.

  He was ready now to be in his nephew’s life.

  ‘I’d love to hold him.’

  Dominic held many babies in a day’s work but he hadn’t held a baby outside of that parameter, ever.

  And it was very different.

  William really was a gorgeous baby and had the MacBride chin and long, long hands and feet. The change of arms woke him and he opened up his eyes and gave his uncle a smile.

  ‘You don’t remember me from last week, do you?’ Dominic said to him. ‘Because I was sticking needles in you then.’

  ‘He’s looking better though?’ Lorna anxiously asked.

  ‘He is. And I know you must be terrified but we’re a tough lot and I’m sure that he’s going to be fine.’ Dominic held him for a couple of moments and, as he did, it occurred to him that in the not too distant future he would be holding a baby of his own.

  How could you ever walk away from your own child?

  Dominic wasn’t one to let his emotions run away with him, but as he looked at the little baby, he felt a choke of emotion on behalf of Victoria.

  He made a choice then to be patient, a choice that he would wait for however long it took for her to trust in him.