The Nurse's Reunion Wish (HQR Medical Romancel) Read online

  May, she wanted to say, how long has Dominic Hadley worked here? Or, May, that registrar anaesthetist—well, he just happens to be my ex-husband and I don’t know quite what to do.

  But Rachel said nothing.

  ‘Are you okay to go back to work in Minor Injuries?’ May asked, taking her glasses off and smiling at Rachel.

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘Would you mind restocking Resus first?’ May directed a slight eye-roll at Tara. ‘You know what you used.’

  Restocking was tedious, but essential—especially in Resus. It was imperative that all the equipment was exactly where it should be when it was needed the most.

  A lot of the packs had been opened, though not necessarily used, so there was a lot of replacing and reordering to do. Rachel did so methodically, glad of the chance to get better acquainted with the area.

  Tara was taking care of an elderly patient who’d had a seizure. He was currently sleeping while they awaited his transfer to a ward. She joined Rachel in Resus.

  ‘How long did you work in Emergency in Sheffield?’ she asked as Rachel replaced the oxygen tubing and mask and checked the suction.

  ‘Three years in Emergency all up. I did hairdressing before I went into nursing.’

  They chatted lightly as Rachel worked, though Rachel’s heart wasn’t really in the conversation. She was still reeling from seeing Dominic that morning, and wondering how on earth they would be with each other when they eventually spoke.

  The patient Tara was caring for was soon transferred, so she came and gave Rachel a hand, both of them checking the intubation tray’s contents before sealing it up.

  ‘Keep an eye on Dominic,’ Tara said suddenly.

  ‘Sorry?’ Rachel blinked.

  ‘Dominic Hadley—the registrar anaesthetist. I saw him looking at you when he was on the phone.’

  Rachel decided it was best to act vague. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I’m just trying to give you a heads-up. Dominic might best be described as “nice while it lasts”—but, believe me, it never does.’

  Rachel could hear the bitterness in Tara’s voice. It was clear there was history between her and Dominic, and from the sound of things, he had become a bit of a player. It was all just so at odds with the man she had once known.

  She wondered what Tara’s reaction would be if she told her she had once been married to him, and decided there and then that her and Dominic’s past would not be joining them at The Primary.

  There was no way she wanted the fact they’d been married to get out. And aside from that...

  ‘I’m engaged,’ Rachel said, ‘and even if I weren’t...’

  She left it there, because it felt safer to do so than to let her imagination wander down that track.

  No way!

  Her heart had been placed under lock and key after she and Dominic had broken up. It had taken years for her to forge another relationship. There had been a couple of cursory attempts at dating, but they hadn’t worked out. And then, when she’d first started working in Emergency, she’d met Gordon, a friend of her flatmate, who was kind and made her feel safe.

  When the accounting firm he worked for had offered him a promotion that had required him to move to London, Gordon had asked her to join him. It had felt like a big leap to agree to live with him, on top of moving cities and jobs for him, but the night before they’d left for London Gordon had, at the leaving party her dad had thrown for them, asked her to marry him. And now they were engaged.

  Not that she wore her ring to work.

  With the restock done, Rachel signed off and headed back to the minor injuries section. But an hour or so later, unable to concentrate and desperate for a moment’s peace, she said she was going to find her cardigan and made her way to the changing rooms. Without even bothering to switch on the light, Rachel sat on the bench in semi-darkness, the sounds of the Emergency Department muffled behind the thick door, and put her head in her hands, trying to process things.

  Dominic was a doctor.

  That nerdy teenager she had known was now a sharp-suited anaesthetist with something of a reputation with women, given it had taken all of one moment in his presence to be warned of his ways.

  Despite keeping her head down, the giddy feeling refused to abate—and then Rachel suddenly recognised what the feeling was: it was how she had always felt when she was with him.

  Yes, Dominic Hadley made her giddy—and had done so from the very first day they had met.

  It had been September, and both had been starting their last year of senior school. His father, a professor, had accepted a role at the university in Sheffield, and the family had moved up there and enrolled Dominic in a top school.

  Rachel had been there on a hard-won scholarship, and had never really fitted in, while Dominic had been sent there as a matter of course.

  Not that he’d wanted to be there.

  He had missed London and his old school friends.

  Despite being from very different backgrounds, they had struck up a friendship. They had both been complete geeks.

  She’d had braces, and Dominic had just had his ceramic ones taken off, so on the very first day of their final school year their first conversation had been about the importance of retainers.

  ‘Get two sets made,’ Dominic had advised her, ‘and wear them every night.’ He’d told her about a friend in London who hadn’t worn his and now was having to start all over again.

  ‘Oh, I’ll wear them.’ Rachel had nodded and smiled her silver-and-elastic-band NHS smile. ‘I won’t be able to afford them once I turn eighteen.’

  They had both been very serious about their schoolwork and the conversation had turned to chemistry, which she had found impossible but he’d handled with ease.

  ‘Do you want me to help you?’ he’d offered when, halfway through the first term, she’d found herself falling behind. ‘We could go through some things after school?’

  He had written his address down on her exercise book and that same afternoon she had made her way to his house.

  His mother’s smile had been tight when she’d greeted Rachel. Professor Hadley hadn’t even attempted one, and had made it clear he was less than impressed by his son’s choice of friend.

  ‘You have homework of your own to do, Dominic.’

  It had been obvious to Rachel that she wasn’t particularly welcome in the Hadley household, so he had started to come to her little terraced home after school.

  ‘What time does your mum get home?’ Dominic had asked that first time, as they’d made tea and found biscuits in the kitchen.

  ‘There’s just my dad and my brothers, and they usually get in around seven.’

  ‘Where’s your mum?’ Dominic asked.

  ‘She’s dead.’

  ‘Rachel!’

  He sounded stunned, and waited for her to elaborate, but she knew that if she explained further she would break down, and her tears had long since been removed from this house.

  ‘I’m so sorry.’

  ‘It’s fine,’ she said, picking up her mug and heading up the stairs to her room, hoping he would leave things there.

  Except he did not.

  ‘How?’ Dominic asked as he followed her up. ‘When?’

  But Rachel reminded him that he had come over so they could study together. There should be no more to it than that.

  Except those walks to her home through the park started to stretch for longer. The same park where she’d been spun and swung as a child. Sometimes they’d take a seat on the park bench, or lie on the grass and talk as they gazed up at the sky.

  About the clouds.

  About other kids in their class.

  About their studies and how he liked coming to her home. He told her that his parents fought a lot.

  ‘Badly?’ Rachel asked, a
nd turned to look at his tense expression as he nodded.

  ‘We moved up here so they could have a fresh start,’ Dominic told her. ‘He had an affair.’

  ‘Oh.’ Rachel was unused to such candour.

  ‘But it sounds as if it’s still going on,’ Dominic said. ‘I don’t know why she stays with him when he makes her so miserable.’ He looked over to her then. ‘Do you think your dad will ever get a girlfriend?’

  ‘No!’ Rachel gave a soft laugh at the very thought. ‘He says he’s got enough going on with the five of us.’

  Dominic turned and looked at her. ‘How did your mother die?’

  There was gentleness in his enquiry. He rolled from his back onto his side, and then, leaning on his elbow, he looked down at her, and she looked up into dark eyes that wanted to know her better.

  And, given what he’d just shared about his parents, she told him the little she could without crying. ‘Something ruptured in her brain.’

  ‘Was it sudden?’

  ‘Very.’

  ‘Do you miss her?’

  Every day, she wanted to say, but she was so scared at the depth of her feelings that she didn’t know how to share them.

  ‘I don’t really remember her,’ Rachel said instead, because that was sort of true as well.

  She remembered some things—like her smile and her kiss, and lying in bed listening to a story; the soft lilt of her Irish voice and the sparkle of her ring as she turned the page, her pretty red nails as she pointed to words, how safe she had felt when wrapped in her perfumed arms.

  But she knew she’d cry if she told him that.

  And so she didn’t.

  Sometimes Rachel would turn her head just for a quiet gaze at Dominic. The more time she spent with him, the more aware of him she became, all the while telling herself it could never be.

  So she hid how she felt, because that was the only way she knew how to live.

  ‘I never know what you’re thinking,’ Dominic said late one afternoon as he met her cool green gaze.

  She was about to respond that she was thinking about the equation he’d just put in front of her, but that wouldn’t be true. She could feel the warmth from his thigh next to hers, and when their heads bent forward over a book she ached with the effort of not turning her face to his.

  So now she did.

  His gaze was intense, with an expression she had never seen before. For once it felt as if he could see her hidden desire, and yet she did not look away.

  ‘Perhaps I don’t want you to know,’ she said.

  ‘Can I at least try and guess?’

  ‘You can try.’

  ‘And if I’m wrong?’ Dominic checked. ‘Will we still be friends?’

  ‘We’ll still be—’

  Her voice had been halted by the softness of his lips against hers. Dominic’s guess had been absolutely right. Because of course she’d been dreaming of his kiss since the first day they’d met.

  In her bedroom, sitting at her desk, he kissed her soft and slow, and she forgot about her braces, and she forgot about her inexperience, because he was new to this too.

  And they were no longer shy.

  No longer awkward.

  At least not when it was just the two of them.

  Together they revised for their looming exams, and together they learned about themselves and each other. And Rachel’s braces came off, but thanks to Dominic, she felt beautiful way before then.

  It wasn’t all plain sailing, though.

  His parents didn’t approve of their friendship, so they worked hard to hide their blossoming romance.

  And her father, who usually got on with everyone, took an instant dislike to the awkward, polite, private school boy who, to top it all off, was from down south.

  Even her brothers chimed in with less-than-sage advice.

  ‘Don’t be letting him know you like him, Rachel.’

  ‘You have to play hard to get, Rachel.’

  ‘He’s using you, Rachel. Just stay well back.’

  But nothing—not warnings, nor dire predictions, no force on this earth—could stop them.

  There was secret hand-holding under desks, and stolen kisses despite the open bedroom door her dad insisted on.

  And there were forbidden touches in the times when they found themselves alone...

  They always made sure, though, that when Rachel’s dad or brothers dropped home unannounced to check on them they would find two nerdy teenagers really studying that science.

  One day Dominic decreed that Rachel had to get ninety per cent on a practice test if she wanted a reward. Since she only managed eighty-eight per cent, even with his generous marking, he refused to allow her any prize.

  ‘Sorry, Rachel...’ He gave her a sad smile. ‘You failed. Back to work!’

  And back to the textbook she went—until the rattle of the removals lorry rumbling up the hilly narrow street where Rachel lived announced the arrival of her family.

  ‘We’re about to be checked on...’ Dominic sighed.

  ‘Good.’ Rachel smiled in utter relief—because the sooner they were checked on, the sooner they’d be left alone again.

  The front door crashed open and Phil ran up the stairs.

  ‘Dad forgot his...’ Phil stopped at the top of the stairs and saw the two of them deep in their books. ‘Oh, hi, there, Dominic. Didn’t know you were coming over...’

  ‘I told Dad he would be,’ Rachel said indignantly.

  ‘Hello.’ Dominic gave his usual awkward smile. ‘How are you, Phil?’

  ‘Grand. So, what are the two of you doing?’

  ‘Revising.’ Rachel rolled her eyes.

  ‘Oh.’

  They actually were. There were books, pencils, tea and biscuits, and not a single untoward thing had taken place.

  ‘I’ll leave you to it, then.’

  The removals lorry rattled its noisy way down the steep road as Dominic totted up Rachel’s latest score.

  Ninety-two per cent!

  He’d slammed the book closed and she’d lain on her bed with her skirt up and closed her eyes in the bliss he gave.

  ‘There...’ she would moan needlessly. ‘There!’

  And there he would flick with his tongue, over and over.

  And there he would ignore a moment later, as he buried his face deep into her.

  And she would press her mouth to the inside of her elbow and try not to scream his name.

  ‘Dominic, Dominic, Dominic!’

  And then, deliciously, he had to have the same. And each kiss, each intimate touch, each climax they gave to each other, led them to want more, more, more.

  They had both been virgins. The first time they’d tried her dad and brothers had been on a removal the other side of town—a big job that would see them there every day for a week. So, on that cold but sunny November morning, they had finally, properly, been alone.

  It had been an unmitigated disaster.

  Rachel had bled and felt sick because it had hurt so much, and Dominic had finished before they’d barely started.

  Yes, a serious disaster.

  Embarrassing and awkward didn’t even begin to describe it.

  Never again, they’d both fervently agreed.

  Never, ever again.

  Absolutely not.

  Dominic had arrived for their usual study session the next day. It had been pouring with rain. He’d shaken off his dad’s golf umbrella in the little porch, and with a lot of residual blushing and awkwardness, they’d resumed their studies...

  Despite the umbrella, his damp hair had dripped on the page as the rain beat on the window, and when they’d kissed, they’d matched again. The pressure of their attempt the day before had fallen away as easily as their clothing.

  She’d felt as if
she were drowning in his kisses, and at his touch, as if she were floating across the sky...

  Their second time had been sublime.

  That had been their first winter. And as spring had inched towards summer, and they’d lain on her little single bed, naked and sated, Rachel had made an admission.

  ‘I’m going to miss our study sessions when we’re at university.’

  Dominic was hoping to study physics at St Andrews in Scotland, or at Imperial College in London, whereas Rachel wanted to do midwifery in Sheffield.

  ‘What are you talking about?’ Dominic asked. ‘If we both get in, then we’ve got years of studying ahead of us.’

  ‘Yes, but you’ll be in Scotland or London...’

  ‘There are trains, Rachel.’

  And now, all these years later, sitting on a changing room bench with her head in her hands, Rachel could still recall with absolute precision the glowing feeling those words had delivered.

  Who was that woman? Rachel thought as she recalled the ecstasy and unbridled passion that had once been the norm between them.

  Who was that woman who had shed her clothes with ease, who had physically ached to be with another person?

  Where had she gone?

  ‘There you are,’ May said as she peered into the changing room and saw Rachel sitting there, with her head still in her hands.

  ‘Sorry,’ Rachel said. ‘I was just...’ Just what? ‘Getting my cardigan.’

  ‘It’s fine.’ May smiled. ‘I’m just about to go for my break—why don’t you do the same?’

  ‘Sounds great.’

  They walked to the staff room together. ‘Now, take a seat and I’ll get us both a cuppa,’ May said.

  * * *

  But there was to be no solace in the staff room for Rachel, because Dominic was sitting there—and not by chance.

  Richard had made it very clear that he wanted this dealt with quickly, and so Dominic had sat waiting.

  Wondering.

  Wondering about Rachel Walker, who, for the shortest of whiles, had once been Rachel Hadley.

  ‘Tea?’ he heard May say as they came in to the staff room.

  ‘I’ll have coffee,’ Rachel said, and then hurriedly added, ‘But I’ll get it.’